Why half of my identity and culture was stolen and ignored?

I looked into the mirror of my own diversity. I realised that it had been taken away from me.

I am Satu Samira and I’m an Egyptian, Finnish and second generation immigrant, Arab Finn. I was born and raised in a small town in Eastern part of Finland, Varkaus, where I lived until I turned 18.  Since then, I’ve lived in London and Amsterdam and other major European cities. I am international and I’ve seen diversity. But in Finland my Egyptian background has been mainly solved with a sentence ”yeah I look like this because my dad is from Egypt.”

Finally I get it, at 40. At 40?! I am as Egyptian as anyone else. At fourty I finally start witnessing my culture, ethnicity and diversity.

Let me tell you. Not once in my life has anyone, anywhere—neither at school nor in workplaces—supported my diverse background. All of my life, now I see it, I have been trying to integrate to what I here call ”normal crowd”. Not once has it been a good thing to have a rich and multicultural background. I’ve acted like a multi coloured chameleon for 40 years trying to adapt to what others expect a normal person should be, like the majority. Sometimes grey, sometimes white. I have muted my Egyptian side. Muted and suppressed parts of me. Since when?

I’m shocked about how blind I have been. Or have I been blinded? Even brainwashed? Who benefited from this?

I am diverse. People this is how a person with an immigrant background looks and talks like.

I looked into the mirror and realised that I have been part of a fraud. My culture and identity has been stolen from me. And where were you? Where were my fellow second generation immigrants? Why were we not supporting each other to be able to exist? Were we all part of the same fraud and nobody could do nothing?

I want to speak Arabic but I can’t. When growing up the norm was to assimilate to the major culture instead of embracing the richness and fullness of my culture. I feel like it’s my fault that I didn’t go study it when at home there would’ve been a parent to teach it. A parent who experienced that it’s better to integrate than teach culture to the children. Was it better for our family? Or was it better for the society to suppress diversity? So it seems. It it still ongoing? Absolutely.

I have missed a lot, and a lot I don’t even know how to miss. Language is a tool. Language is culture. It was taken away from me. All of it. And I might never know what all it entails.

When looking at my closet I ask: why are my Egyptian clothes in the dress up party section? And not used daily? Why when I speak about my heritage I tend to make a joke of it instead of being in integrity with it? Who made me do this and be like this?

I am starting to finally witness my own immigrant background. This is a major thing. People. This is major.

Instead of saying ”my dad is an Egyptian” I’m now saying I am an Egyptian. What makes me less Egyptian or Arab Finn than someone else? Nobody can take the right to be what I am away from me.

I am rising. I am rising with diversity.

Diversity is richness, it’s polarity, it’s growth. It’s real and authentic.

Sustainability always starts within self. I don’t see that I could ever be able to make the impact I want to make in this world if I didn’t now take this journey. Yalla, let’s change the world. I’m sick of this.

Welcome to follow the journey.

Next
Next

This is how I see the new normal starting